I, Sharmi, Diamond -EP-18

18- Me

"Yes, it's a big problem. I got myself into it. I didn't expect her to do this. Her name is Nivedita. She was introduced to me through a white woman named Caroline. Caroline is a journalist in Spain. I didn't know Nivedita was also a journalist. Caroline is an interesting woman. I've seen so many women, but she was different.

When she was intimate with me, she didn't tell me about her sorrows like other women, nor did she reveal her perversions. Every move of hers was tasteful. As soon as she entered the room, she would go to shower and ask me to shower too. She would order red wine and ask, "What do you want?" I usually don't drink with clients. I've said that it doesn't work out well most of the time. But if it's only with her, I'll choose wine. She would turn on the TV and tune to a music channel, making the volume almost inaudible. Then, she would pour wine into two glasses, and we would switch glasses and feed each other. In between, she would start kissing me with her wine-stained lips, and by the time the first glass of wine was finished, her kisses would intensify. Although there was intensity, there was no frenzy. Slowly, she would nibble on my lower lip, put her tongue into my mouth, and let our tongues intertwine. A natural warmth would spread through our bodies, and the sex between us would build up like the pressure in a rice cooker, slowly rising and exploding at the peak. Only with her could I understand that experience. She always enjoyed her time with me, so whenever she came to India, she would always call me. Even if I had other work, I would set it aside and come, because I believe I truly experience sex only with her."

"One day, she (Nivedita) came with Caroline. Caroline said that Nivedita was her friend and that when she told her men like me existed in India, she didn't believe it, which is why she brought her here to see. Nivedita looked at me with surprise. It's not surprising that she was amazed to see someone who gets paid to be intimate with women, given that men in India struggle to even be near women. Nivedita blushed seeing the intimacy Caroline showed when sitting with me. She bombarded me with questions like, "How did you get into this profession? What do you think about it?" I was annoyed by her questions, but since she was Caroline's friend, I couldn't show it. That entire dinner, I was exhausted from answering her questions. All her questions were filled with surprise. When it was time to leave, she hugged Caroline goodbye, and when she hugged me goodbye, I felt a slight tremor in her body. It was a subtle, delicate hug. I could feel a stirring within me.

Subsequent meetings happened without Caroline. She would ask me to come to a star hotel, we'd sit and talk in the coffee shop, and when it was time to leave, she'd depart with the same trembling hug. She would always pay me before leaving. One day, as she was about to leave after paying, I pushed the money back into her hand and said, "I don't want it." She looked at me confused. "It feels strange to take money without providing my service, so I don't want it," I said, a little flustered. She quickly said, "Sorry, sorry, don't take it that way. You came for me. It's only fair to pay for your time. I smiled and put the money back into her bag.

"Maybe some other day... I haven't gathered the courage yet."

"If you don't mind... are you a virgin?"

She suddenly widened her eyes and looked at me, saying, "No... but... I haven't been with someone like you before. But there's an inner desire, though my mind just won't allow it." When she finished speaking, her words were very hesitant. I felt sorry for the nervousness within her. Without caring that it was a coffee shop, I suddenly hugged her and kissed her on the lips. She didn't flinch away but sought my lips with a tremor. Within a few minutes, we were both in the suite of that star hotel. It became clear in the next few hours that her hesitation was just at the beginning. When she left that day, she put double the amount of money in my pocket. After that, she never contacted me. Just as I had forgotten about it, thinking it was a one-time thing, the police suddenly came to my house one day. I didn't understand anything. They just said that the "sir" had called me and took me away in a jeep without saying anything else. Only when I reached the station did I find out what the problem was. Nivedita was there, and two other people were sitting with her. Not understanding anything, I just looked at Nivedita. Seeing me stare at her, a constable hit me hard on the back of the head, saying, "What's with the staring?" My eyes felt like they were spinning. I had never been hit before. Nivedita, looking flustered, started to run towards me, but the constable said, "Madam, just sit down. We can't let these sons of bitches get away with this," and raised his hand to hit me again. I quickly moved aside and said loudly, "Sir, why are you hitting me?"

"Hmm... I'll explain," the inspector said, rising. I flinched, fearing he was going to hit me, but instead, he placed a prominent Tamil newspaper in front of me. On it, alongside my silhouette, was a headline in bold letters: "Male Prostitutes Selling Themselves for Money." It dawned on me why Nivedita had asked me those questions. I glared at her, completely at a loss. The secret I had kept from even my sister had now been exposed in the newspaper. I was panicking. "Nivedita, why did you do this?"

"I'm sorry... After the article appeared in the newspaper, there was a huge response from readers. So the editor insisted that we take immediate action and report on it. There was no other way," she said, wringing her hands. My mind raced with questions: What to do next? Who to call? If I was arrested, who else would be implicated? Would they arrest me? Or would they beat me inside? Should I try to escape? Amidst this chaos of thoughts, a face suddenly came to mind: Vasanthi Madam. And her number instantly popped into my memory. As I tried to approach Nivedita, a constable barked, "Hey, kid, sit down!" I meekly sat on the wooden chair. One of the two people who had come with Nivedita looked at me with disgust and said, "Look at this guy... See if he has any sense of guilt at all..."

"Hell, the woman he slept with doesn't have a sense of guilt, how would this man have any?" the inspector laughed as if he had just delivered a great joke.

"Even then, look... while guys are resorting to rape and other things because they can't get this, you're getting pleasure for money, you lucky bastard," he said, coming to the front of the table and tapping my head. It was a hard hit. I didn't expect it. It was clear from their eyes that they were more envious than angry. When the inspector asked about the women I had been with, Nivedita remained silent, looking elsewhere.

"Sir, I don't even know what's written in this. I'm not even sure if that's me in the picture. So why did you bring me here? Those journalists will write whatever they want. Why are you bringing me here and hitting me without any proof?"

"Look, sir, this guy is talking about the law. What should we do with him? If they were women, we could at least send them to a shelter. We need to think about which section to file a case under. Maybe we should file a case for obscene phone calls and put him away for three months?" he asked the people who came with Nivedita. "Sir... I need to make a phone call," I said.

"What, are you going to call your lawyer?" he said mockingly.

"Sir, we need to save these kids from this corrupt culture. That's what our readers want too. We're going to do a photo feature on this. This news alone has sold ten thousand extra copies this week, you know," he said.

Meanwhile, I took out my phone and called Vasanthi Madam. Hearing my "Hello," she excitedly said, "My little darling... why are you calling, my sweet? Did you miss me?" she said sweetly. Without responding to her sweet talk, I told her what had happened and asked her to save me. I also gave her the police station number. "You'll be out in half an hour," she said and hung up. Within ten minutes, I walked out without any charges.