I, Sharmi, Diamond. Ep-21

21 Sharmi

"Should we run away somewhere?" asked Mom. I laughed.

"From whom?" I asked. There was no reply from her. If you don't run from a chasing dog but turn and stand your ground once, the dog won't chase. If it backs away in fear and barks with a slightly hesitant voice, and if you recognize the hesitation in that voice and stand firm again, it will retreat. I decided that the same tactic used for dogs applies to humans. However, I was wondering if the courage you have when thinking would be there when you act. Still, this thought gave me some courage. I didn't sleep until dawn.

Even though I had some sexual experience, I felt sad at the thought of losing myself.

As soon as dawn broke, I hurriedly bathed, as if preparing for something. After bathing, I looked at my naked body in the mirror. It felt like it had been many years since I had looked at myself like this. My breasts were fuller and firmer than before. I held them with both hands. It's the first place a man's eyes fall. As soon as I took my hands away, they jiggled like jelly. A waist without a single crease, long legs, and firm thighs. Shaved legs—I liked the way I looked. Then why wouldn't men like it? When I looked at myself from a distance, I understood why there's a fascination with a woman's body. I put on my favourite outfit, a mini skirt and a tight top. It was ten o'clock. The sound of Arjun's car stopping at the gate was heard. I came downstairs from my room. I opened the door. He looked me and my outfit up and down.

"Looks like you're ready..." he said, his eyes fixed on my chest. I smiled. He didn't notice it. But my smile suddenly stopped. The reason was my uncle, who came behind Arjun. I had thought he wouldn't come after yesterday's problem. And I didn't expect him to come with Arjun. My uncle's gaze was also fixed on my chest. He had never looked at me so directly before. Seeing the change in my expression, Arjun said, "Are you surprised that Uncle came too? He has some settlement to make. Since it's a panchayat, I told him to come along to avoid any problems."

I didn't understand anything. Mom was awake. There was shock on her face too.

"Uncle says he has some financial dealings with you. When it comes to settlement, he's asking me to make sure he gets his due. After all, when an elder asks like this, I can't say no. So, if you tell me the accounts, I'll settle it and leave," he said. He put unnecessary emphasis on "settle it." I wasn't even worried about him; I was anxious about what bombshell my uncle was going to drop.

My uncle sat in front of Mom. "Look, ever since I became unwanted to you, give me what you owe me and settle the rest. Whether your husband was in jail or after he was gone, I'm the one who took care of this house all this time. You can't deny that. What? I didn't just mean taking care of you when I said 'house.' I took care of this house too."

Hearing that, Mom got angry. "Did you spend for us for nothing? After using me completely, you're now asking for accounts? You won't be well," she started angrily and burst into tears. I calmed her down. Her crying turned into sobbing.

"Okay... tell me what the accounts are," I said.

"If you look at the expenses for all these years, even this house won't be enough. But still, you're a helpless woman, so I'm letting it go. You need some support, so I'm compromising. The power of attorney your mom gave me is with me. Instead of looking at accounts and all that, give me ten lakhs, and I'll leave," he said.

I was shocked. I looked at Mom, wondering when she had signed the power of attorney. The shock in her eyes told me she had been deceived. There was no point in talking anymore. I looked at Arjun. "What do you say, Sharmi? If we settle with him, I won't be able to give you anything. Tell me if it's okay, and I'll give you your documents," he said.

I understood that they were playing a pre-planned game. "Okay, settle it. But one thing: I want those documents before that," I said.

"What, Sharmi, you don't trust me? How can we settle without giving them? Right, Uncle?" he asked him mockingly, and my uncle gave a disgusting laugh. His gaze was still on my chest.

Arjun kept looking at me. "Uncle, I'm responsible for your settlement. Okay. Give me the documents," he said, and my uncle took a document paper from his inner vest. It had Mom's signature and the content of giving power of attorney in his name. I looked at Mom. The disappointment in her eyes was clear. I looked at the date on the document. It was dated before Dad's death. When everything was pre-planned, I didn't know what to do. After reading the document thoroughly, I tore it into pieces. My uncle didn't show any reaction and just kept looking at me. "Come on, Arjun, let's go," I said and took him into my room. He followed me as if he had been waiting for me to say that. Before I entered the room, he jumped on me from behind and grabbed my breasts through my clothes. "Arjun, wait... wait," I said, but he didn't listen. He was almost like a madman. With one pull, he tore my top, left the mini skirt as it was, tore off my bra and panties, and quickly took off his clothes. His erect penis was there, and without any preparation, he pushed himself into me on the bed and started acting. It felt like a knife stabbing my abdomen, the pain reaching the top of my head. Again and again, the same knife stabs fell, and at one point, the pain reached its peak and suddenly everything levelled out, and instead of screaming, I started moaning. More and more and more... as much as you can, when I was ready, he exploded and collapsed. I pushed him away and got up. "Hey, where are you going? Will ten lakhs be done so quickly?" he asked, his penis erect again. Now he started to slowly enjoy me. It was almost over four times when I got up and saw that Uncle was watching through the window.

"Ptoo," I spat at him. As if he had been waiting for me to see him and come in, he quickly entered and looked at Arjun very pitifully. "Uncle... do you want some too? Take it," he said, welcoming him with open arms like a generous lord and went out. I didn't expect this. But I wasn't in a state to stop it. Let it happen, I thought and closed my eyes. My uncle was moving. After that, Arjun and Uncle made me feel like a spittoon. Finally, when Arjun tried again, I kicked him in the chest. When he came to hit me in anger, I kicked him again. Uncle backed away seeing my anger.

"Get out, you thieving whoresons," I screamed at the top of my voice. Fear spread across both their faces, and they started picking up their clothes. "The deed is done, right? I don't want to see you here again. You won't get it again. It's finished for the money you gave," I said, and Arjun laughed loudly. "What do you mean, the money you gave? We didn't do it for free. The paper, your uncle's threats, everything was just a show..." he said and then, "Come on, Uncle, do you still want her? If you want, pay and go..." he took a wad of five hundred rupee notes from his pocket and threw them, "Keep the tips," and left. Uncle also left, looking at me. I collapsed and started crying.

I felt like a slut. After that, when Uncle and Arjun came home once or twice, I screamed like a demon and chased them away. The sorrow of being deceived by them made me even more furious. I, who had been unaware of the household needs being taken care of by Uncle or people like Arjun, realized that I couldn't be like that anymore. I started thinking completely that there was no other way. With the same attitude, I acted like I was doing it for someone out of great effort, just to go along with it, creating the impression in every man I slept with. It's very easy for a woman to act like this, and almost all men believe it if you say it firmly with a childish face, poor things. But it's only until the work is done. The indifference they show after that will torture us. That indifference is only until the next game starts. It goes back and forth like a cycle.

The men who believe, even arranging disco parties, setting up women and taking a twenty percent service charge, and for group parties, selecting women who can keep up with it, sometimes with me as one of them, or sometimes sitting in a corner, sipping Bacardi or Scotch and watching those operating in a frenzy is incredibly interesting. I get the same feeling as when I watch music videos on TV with the sound muted. In some groups, lesbian women ask for partners. When I see women in high positions in society, who are ready to throw away money for physical pleasure without counting it, I feel there's no big difference between them and me. The men who come with them seem pitiful. One after another, the women try to engage them in the act. A man cannot act immediately after sex. Only in the first instance or with a strong excitement can a man be ready immediately. These men use drugs, hormone injections below the waist, creams that keep them erect, and other narcotics like cocaine to survive. In that sense, women are fortunate. If we just lie flat on our backs, who cares who it is. It was at such a group party that I saw him."