I, Sharmi, Diamond. Ep -20

20. Me

As soon as I left the station, I got a call from Vasanthi Madam. "Darling, you're out, right? Did they lay a hand on you? Tell me their names, and I'll make them disappear." I said no. A bit of arrogance swelled inside me, knowing we'd resolved the issue with just one phone call. Vasanthi had a lot of power. She was the commissioner's wife. No one, not even Nivedita, could have imagined I had such connections. I myself didn't know Vasanthi Madam was the commissioner's wife until about six months ago.

In Mahabalipuram, at a guest house, she asked me to come wearing a housecoat, like a scarecrow. She was completely drunk. No one had ever asked me to come like that before. Even my agent, when he called me, said, "It's a high-profile client, be careful. If you don't want to go, just come back." She asked about my background. "How many people have you...?" she asked, and I looked straight at her and smiled. "Haven't kept count?" she replied, laughing. "I like your smile, darling. You'll do everything I say, right? And then don't say you won't do this or that, okay?" I wondered what new things she was going to ask me to do. Seeing my silence, she took it as an okay and told me to come inside. It wasn't anything new like I thought; it was all the usual stuff. But it was new to her. However, without showing it, I acted like I was doing everything she said, so she quickly reached her peak with ecstasy and floated in ultimate pleasure. She began to revel in showing her own body's wonders. The one who insisted I do everything she said now started listening to everything I said. She was ready to do anything for me. If you saw Madam on Fridays, you wouldn't leave without touching her feet for blessings. She was so radiant. She would often say, "I don't feel my age when I'm with you." When she started expecting me to be with her all the time, I realized it wasn't going to work and started distancing myself. I told her I was going out of town, and she said she would give me whatever money I would get there. I said I had to go if I agreed, and after a few months of distancing myself, I had to talk to her about this problem. She would probably call again. There was no choice; I had to go. She would help again sometime. As expected, she called. I went. She looked more worn out than before. I thanked her. "No need for all that. Give me a tight hug and a kiss," she said, smiling.

"I stayed away from outside work for a while, but I didn't know how long I could continue like this. Sometimes, I thought about getting a regular job, but the doubt always arose: after making money so easily for so long, could I actually work a regular job? Even though what I was doing now was work too, I couldn't deny the thought that it was an indescribable kind of work. But I knew definitively that I couldn't go to a regular job. The only thought running through my mind was that I needed to make good money quickly and settle down.

The constant calls from agents were also irritating me, so I started my work, my labor, again. Don't laugh. If you still don't understand my labour after all this, it's no use.

My first call was a different kind of experience. They said I had to go to a park disco with a college girl. Her name was Janaki. Her friends all called her Jani. While picking me up in the car, she said, "This is my first time. My friends tease me, calling me a nun. To shut them up, I told them I have a boyfriend. So, keep that in mind. Otherwise, don't try to take advantage of me. I think you understand what I'm saying." I nodded, smiling. I danced and drank with her all night, but I approached her very gently. Every time she touched me, I apologized. She kept saying, "It's okay... it's okay." Some older women in the crowd, whom I had seen before, recognized me but pretended not to. And so did I. That's our basic rule. We shouldn't acknowledge them until they speak to us first. That night, before Janaki dropped me off, she kissed me deeply. I had never seen such shyness on a woman's face after a kiss. It was Janaki, or Jani, who was shy from just one kiss, who introduced me to a group sex circle. My first experience with me had prepared her to that extent.

"The group consisted entirely of college girls and women working in IT. Money was no object to them. Since direct contacts had already been established, they would ask me to arrange for themselves and others. It was usually a minimum of three to four men for six to seven women. Sometimes, we've even had six on six. Newcomers were not allowed in this group. Only experienced, seasoned individuals attended. You'd occasionally see someone with a little bit of experience, but they were easily spotted. As soon as others started undressing in the middle of the hall, after a bit of light drinking and some courage, these newbies would repeatedly pull their sarees or dupattas back on. When everyone else was completely naked and she was still clothed, all the naked bodies would pounce on her and strip her—that was the "ragging" of the rave parties. At one point, she would run, and they would chase her naked, while the guys we brought just stood there watching. Gradually, she would get used to nudity, and six men's hands would play on her body at the same time. Others would get aroused watching, and then an uncontrollable frenzy would take over. Once she shed her inhibitions, she would stand and play along. Alcohol and lust combined to create a kind of madness. This job was much worse than any other. They would rotate, one after another. Control and shyness only existed until they let go of their mental barriers. Once they did, men were nothing.

After the first round, when they talked for a while, some of them would make fun of their husbands' or boyfriends' organs and their sexual prowess. "We're supposed to give them oral sex, but they won't do it for us. I bit him once during oral, and the poor guy writhed in pain," they would say.

They would also act out how their male colleagues would drool over them and how they would put on a show, saying they didn't like it when they talked like that. Until dawn, everyone would go at least three rounds. When everything was over, half-drunk, bodies worn out and tired, just as they were falling asleep, if someone got the mood again and started playing with two men's penises, it would be extremely irritating. It was during one of those group sessions that I saw Sharmi."